Like many Pitchfork reviews, this one best enjoyed read aloud in “Mean Girls” voice. You’re saying that Little Dragon stole ideas from “Twenty Foreplay” by Janet Jackson when they wrote “Mirrors” (as if that would be a bad thing). Are we listening to the same album? What “intermittent thuds” are you hearing on that song? The song is in 4/4. You mean the thuds that fall on the 2 and 4 beats? (That’s as non-intermittent as music gets). Or the slow drum build-up Little Dragon obviously wrote while watching the Phil Collins “Gorilla Drummer” Cadbury ad? DAMN YOU PHIL COLLINS!! Seriously though, can you please launch iTunes and double check that you’re currently playing Little Dragon’s Nabuma Rubberband and not Janet’s Design of a Decade 1986/1996?
Let’s skip down a bit further: "It’s niiccce to naaa that Luttle Druggunn can still pull aahf the same rhythmic variashuns… even if it doesn’t ALwess go smoothLUHH." Pitch, please. No, really… please share some examples of things that didn’t go over smoothly on this album:
”Just when they settle into a groove on the ominous, glittering ‘Only One’, the song whiplashes to a close with an industrial beat…” — let’s stop you right there. That. Sounds. Fucking. Awesome.
Just skipping down your review — I call this reading technique “Pitchforking,” because it’s inspired by how you skip through songs in an effort to crank out so many shitty album reviews. Here we go — “Nabuma Rubberband's slow jams are perfectly sexy, but they lack originality. Even after repeated listens, the album's velvety sequence of 'Pretty Girls', 'Underbart', and 'Cat Rider' fail to leave a lasting impression.” So what did you not like about those songs? Apparently you didn't feel the need to qualify your shit… just name drop and move on so your editor knows you at least saw the track list. Walk away and whistle, Harley. And by the way, since when is "Underbart" a slow jam? The song’s about 125 bpm. To give you a reference point, Skrillex’s "Bangarang" is about 112 bpm. Can’t wait to read your next review for Ezoo. "This just in: teens caught necking to Skrillex slow jams." 120 bpm is really just another way of playing 60 bpm in cut time - so I guess you have a point, Harley.
RE: “Underbart.” How did you not appreciate the hint of latin drumming in the first chorus, around 1:10? I guess you’d just retort that Yukimi Nagano must have been walking around her kitschy studio listening to Tito Puente when she stole that idea.